On the Job Parenting Tips
I hope you find inspiration in these parenting tips to help you on your journey.
My husband and I navigated parenting from a position of deep love for our children, and wanting them to grow up in a safe and healthy environment which nurtured their unique gifts. Of course, this is a parenting mantra, so is not out of the everyday; yet, it binds us together with a kindred spirit :) In many ways, my husband and I grew into parenting. We didn't start out with a prescribed formula, and we weren't "book parents." I had a hard time buying into the hype and rigid schedules that were popular when we were raising our kids. Don't get me wrong; I'm an avid reader, I just didn't follow any one "regime" to raise our kids. I'm a bit of a "free agent" if you will :) We are "gut parents" which means our parenting style grows out of love and what we are comfortable with as we journey. There were some parenting philosophies we just weren't comfortable with. We followed our "gut", which as an FYI to you, leans toward the conservative. It has become increasingly difficult to parent with the demands and distractions of our society, and a culture that seems to elevate the child's rights over the parents. Parenting can not be summed up in a neat & tidy package. A simple formula for raising children doesn't exist, and every parent responds differently to this role. I want to share some parenting tips and principles which worked for us. They may beat to a different drummer, but in the end will hopefully affect your child and family for generations. Parenting tip #1: Before I left the hospital with each newborn, I dedicated their lives to the Lord. Each one was God's gift to my husband and I, and I promised the Lord to raise them to love and follow Him. I prayed for their souls, and their lives. A practice I do to this day! :) I will share more about praying for your kids in a future parenting tips article. Now stay with me; we may differ in our beliefs, but I believe praying for my kids has played a significant role in their joy; their self-worth; their interaction with us as parents and their siblings. And has guided the direction of their lives.
My four beautiful daughters :)
My one and only son Parenting tip #2: HOMESCHOOLING A decision we made which I believe made a marked difference in the lives of our children was homeschooling. This one parenting tip defined our lifestyle and created a huge value on family. Looking back now, the greatest benefit to homeschooling was the fact that we had more time with our kids, and they had time to respect our authority and influence. The helter skelter world of multiple schedules spun around us, while we sat peacefully around our kitchen table for lunch and talked for hours and played together in the afternoon. I remember during one lunch discussion about marriage and choosing a husband; my oldest daughter who was about 12 at the time said, "Mommy, would you and daddy help me find a husband?" To which my second daughter chimed in, "Me too, mommy!" "Well, of course we will!" was my reply :) My oldest daughter married her wonderful husband July 2008. He is also a missionary kid and they met in the Philippines when they were in the 10th grade.
Homeschooling gave us back time! My children became each others best friends, and they are to this day. We baked together, laughed together, learned together, cleaned the house together, and cried together as our characters were being refined. I homeschooled our kids for 10 years before coming to the Philippines as missionaries, so our kids entered 10th, 6th, 4th, and 2nd grades when we arrived in the Philippines. Our youngest was 4 years old. Homeschooling was a blessing to us, but may not be the choice for everyone. It's a huge commitment on the part of the mother, but reaps great rewards. If you decide homeschooling is not your solution; then, you will need to establish specific times to talk with your kids and be very intentional about making that a priority. You can do it -- I have great confidence in you :) There is a whole community of homeschoolers out there and much support if you choose this alternative. Parenting tip #3: YOU ARE THE BEST PARENT FOR YOUR CHILD You were chosen before the beginning of time as your child's parent, so YOU are the best parent for your child. Your unique gifts enrich your child's development. Be confident in that, and exercise your right as parent to influence him (by him, I mean him or her). Don't let anyone, the media or any "modern" philosophy tell you differently. This can be very difficult, because culture may dictate a very different philosophy and parenting style, but stay strong in knowing you are making the right choices for your child. You know your child best! What you don't know, you can learn :) For instance, one child may love preschool at age 3, but not all kids will thrive in that environment. Or you, as parent, may choose to limit outside friendships while they are young to establish your relationship instead -- perfectly acceptable! You may even consider homeschooling as I stated earlier -- expect a reaction out of well-meaning friends and grandparents if you do :) Do what you believe is best for your child! Yes, seek sound advice from those you respect, learn from those who have walked this road, but you also need to trust your instincts as the perfect parent for your child. Listen and discern what's useful and filter it based on your child's personality, your principles, and parenting philosophy. Do the same with the parenting tips I am offering -- I expect that! :) You should always filter information. I am not advocating passivity in parenting or a "fly by the seat of your pants" approach; on the contrary, I advocate a very involved parenting style. What I am advocating is freedom in parenting. You are the best parent for your child and YOU will be held responsible for that most important role. Every parent, including me, needs to take that very seriously. We're talking about things that really matter. You will have the keenest insights into your child's soul and personality, which makes you the best person to nurture his spirit and train him. Your observation skills will be crucial in reading your child, and gaining wisdom from it for training. Use these observation skills to really reach your child and meet his individual needs. This will help you understand the areas your child needs to experience growth and maturity, and you can gear your discipline and guidance towards those areas. You will find out what makes your child "tick" -- use this to your advantage and his. I am not an advocate for turning a blind eye to problems -- you will do best to deal with them in truth and head-on as soon as they are observed or brought to your attention. Deal with them in love. You love and adore your child; speak to him in this manner, and set boundaries which will help him grow. I hope these first 3 parenting tips have helped and encouraged you as they were and are the bedrock to our parenting style. Please continue to read the next 3 parenting tips, which include intentional parenting and practical examples of intentional parenting; the importance of your role; and showing love to your child. If you don't have time right now, bookmark this site and come back later. Please tell a friend if you found this helpful. I appreciate it :) To parenting tips & learning along the way, Julie Return to Home Page from Parenting Tips Go to Parenting Tips Page 2 Go to Conversation Starters for your kids Go to Conversation tips & Common Courtesy Go to Teach Good Manners to Your Kids Go to Teach Your Kids to be Conversationalists Go to Chores for Kids Go to Expressions of Love for Your Kids Go to Babysitting Tips  |
