Parenting Tips 2:
I hope they Encourage
and Inspire You!

Parenting tips 2: Intentional parenting,
adjusting our lives, and saying "I love you."

We can not leave parenting to chance!

We must make very intentional decisions as it relates to parenting our children, which leads me to my next parenting tip.

Parenting tips 2: INTENTIONAL PARENTING

An example of this: When our kids were younger, playing a club sport was a new development. It had not matured into the phenom it is today, and for that I am grateful. Yet, we still dealt with it.

I remember making a conscience and intentional decision not to have our oldest daughter play in a club sport, which would occupy our entire Saturday. We wanted that day to be spent at home or to have the flexibility to do anything else.

We didn't want a sport for one child to dictate the family's activities.

I realize this may be a hot button for many today, but I want to caution parents to really consider the pros and cons of being involved in club sports before making that commitment.

Don't get me wrong; I am all for encouraging kids to develop their skills and gifts, but you have to weigh "at what cost" does that happen.

The biggest drawback to club sports is having games scheduled for Sunday -- it makes regular church attendance almost impossible and sets an example for the kids that minimizes church involvement.

For us, being involved in church has a high value, so this became paramount in making a decision.

Playing sports all weekend can be a huge distraction for families. Multiple children, multiple courts, and/or different locations can scatter the family throughout the weekend, and make connection among family really difficult.

You will have to be the judge of how club sports may affect your family dynamics and goals, and make decisions accordingly :) I know some families have figured it out and work within this system, so it can be done, but it will require intentional decisions to recapture time.

Let me further explain this parenting tip:

Intentional parenting means making very calculated decisions about how your children spend their time.

Their exposures via friends or media;
How much time they spend with friends vs. the family;
The way they speak to you, speak to their friends and other adults;
The clothes they wear.

Essentially, every aspect of their lives :)

Do not let the world's distractions and mediocre standard for parenting influence your good judgment.

This involved parenting style may not be popular to the world, and you may not be your child's friend during this season, but stand firm; show great love and grace to your child.

We have parented with intention since our children were young. Today at 23, 20, 18, 16 and 13, our children listen to us, respect our influence and seek our opinions; they share openly with us and we have a deep and loving relationship with each of them.

Our children are each others closest friends and we all depend on one another for support and encouragement. Our souls require each other and we receive nourishment when together. That may seem extreme and even corny, but it's the honest truth :)

Intentional parenting involves time and effort.

There is no easy way around it -- anything worthy requires time and effort.

You must take time to:

Listen carefully.
Speak kindly.
Talk with your children.
Seek out their interests and be involved.
Show them love and respect.
Be approachable
Be available
Accept them no matter what they have done or have to say -- your children need to know they can trust you to love them unconditionally.

Set boundaries and stick to them . . . with grace.
Explain the boundaries to your children so they understand them; in doing this, you respect your children and their "need to know."

Teach your children good manners.
Teach and model thoughtful behavior.
Help your children think of others and the needs of others, rather than only concentrating on their own needs -- teach them unselfishness.
Teach and model forgiveness.

This is a tall order & it's not for the faint-hearted, but it is well worth the effort. I promise!!

Take these parenting tips serious and you will see a difference in your children.

If you make a mistake along the way, apologize to your children -- show humility in admitting your mistake and move on. Forgive your children when they apologize and forget it. Parenting tips in their own right :)

Hang in there, you're doing great!

Parenting IS hard work!

To quote President Barack Obama, "In the end, there is no program or policy that can substitute for a mother or father who will attend those parent/teacher conferences, or help with homework after dinner, or turn off the TV, put away the video games and read to their child. I speak to you not just as a president, but as a father when I say that responsibility for our childrens education must begin at home."

He spoke these words in his national address on Feb.24, 2009.

I will take it one step further and say not only education, but training our children to be responsible, respectful and useful members of society:
This begins at home.

We can't leave this most important task to their teachers or the school system, not even their Sunday School teacher; and especially not their peers.

God help us if training our children gets left to the TV or other media!

Do your best to protect their childhood, their mind and spirit.

Kids tend to grow up very fast with the influence of the media. Try to limit their exposure to TV and the internet. TV sitcoms model poor family values and excessive freedoms among kids, so this will only thwart your efforts and make parenting difficult.

Help them enjoy their childhood with carefree play, and protect their innocence as long as you can :)

It's not easy to make sacrifices sometimes, but this will affect your children significantly :)

The power of love expressed to your children can increase their resilience to face disappointment, frustration, and will boost their confidence and self-worth. Being loved unconditionally and knowing home is a place of safety and nurture can thwart a myriad of problems the world may throw at them.

You would lay down your life to protect them.

Show them!
Tell them often!
Say "I love you."
Say "You're great."
Defend them; believe the best in them; notice what they do well and sincerely compliment them.

Your children want a relationship with you and they will respond with open arms.

You can never spoil a child by loving him or her too much --
it's just not possible.

I hope these "parenting tips 2" have helped and encouraged you.
To your parenting,
Julie :)